Nickel Facts

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Last updated: February 6, 2010

Here are some little known facts about nickels. Tell your friends!
Note: Some facts may be erroneous.

• "Nickel" is the common name for the Canadian five-cent coin.
• Nickels are not actually made of the element nickel.
• Nickels are made of a highly televisionactive element called "nicklonium," sometimes spelt "nicklodium," which is located in group 19, the unimpressive gases (beside the noble gases) on the periodic table. See below.

• Most Canadians have a severe nicklonium addiction. This is why its harmful properties are not widely recognized.
• Only mustard can combat nicklonium.
  
• Only after not using nickels for an extended period of time can one truly appreciate their side effects
• Some nickel side effects include:
• Burning
• Smoking (in your pocket)
• Television begins to randomly change channels
• Nickel addiction
• Sadness
• Happiness (not consistent in nature)
• Car-related hallucinations
• Loss of balance
• Regaining balance
• Slow Internet connection
• Very fast Internet connection (but inconsistent)
• Experiencing reality backwards

• Some nickel statistics include:
• More than 98% of convicted felons are nickel users.
• More than 90% of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of touching a nickel.
• Newborn babies can choke on nickels.
• Nickels are made at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit. That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute!